1
00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,357
What's that about? Tell me.
2
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:34,598
Because, at the end of the day,
you can say something
3
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,395
and then it doesn't mean that you
can't ever change your mind.
4
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:40,829
It's you that's changing your mind.
5
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,837
Fine! But what's wrong with that?
6
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,349
(Gareth) Yeah, I feel
sorry for dawn and Lee,
7
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,914
if they have to call
off the wedding
8
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,396
then I'm sure it'll be upsetting now,
9
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,476
but in the end, it's for the best.
10
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,510
The thing about long-term marriage
11
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,915
is that, inevitably, the sex suffers.
12
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,919
You constantly have to find new
and erotic ways
13
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,917
of spicing things up in the bedroom.
14
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,475
It's a gift and training.
15
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:14,798
I mean, you can... it's like I was
good at it before I was trained,
16
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:18,879
but now I'm trained I'm better
than people who weren't good before.
17
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,389
Today's our staff tral'nl'ng,
18
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,550
I do a couple a year.
19
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,240
This is rowan, our facilitator for the day.
20
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,716
It's good to get in an
outsider now and again.
21
00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,798
It helps to keep them
sort of interested, you know.
22
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,912
And I'm trained in it.
I have an mba from Bradford.
23
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,794
I'm trained in it as well.
I could have done this myself.
24
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,639
Let me tell you what today is all about.
25
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,752
- I can do that...
- Well, it's my... thing.
26
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,394
It's about customer care, really.
27
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,398
Investment in people - I.E. The staff.
28
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,830
Letting them know they are
our most important commodity,
29
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,918
and if they've got a
problem, it's my problem...
30
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,074
Er...
31
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:09,153
It's like if you're cleaning
a floor and you're up against it,
32
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,829
then come to me and I'll help us
clean our floor together.
33
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,234
So...
34
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,234
Not literally.
35
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,112
See you in there.
36
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,399
I'm really sorry.
37
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,956
Things will be ok
between you and Lee, you know,
38
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:39,675
because you and Lee are going
to be together, and he knows that,
39
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,598
and if he doesn't appreciate that,
he's mad.
40
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,154
If he doesn't appreciate
it, I'll marry you!
41
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,789
Hello. You're through to Keith.
42
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:56,233
I will be at training all day today.
43
00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:01,318
Please call me or leave a message
and I will call you tomorrow.
44
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,591
- You're so lovely.
- I'm not lovely.
45
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,438
- You are.
- No, you are.
46
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,070
- I'm snotty.
- You're snotty and lovely.
47
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,713
I'd marry your snot.
48
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,319
- Boys...
- All right, mate.
49
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,158
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
50
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,078
You're upset. About Lee, is it?
51
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,077
Hey, don't worry, all right?
52
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:23,239
Monkey Alan in the warehouse
fancies you even if no one else does.
53
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:35,633
What was that?
54
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,990
Can't say anything when they're like that.
55
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,271
No, you can't. You can't. I was doing ok.
56
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,796
What's this monkey Alan business?
57
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,115
Well, he fancies her. I'm just saying.
58
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:50,550
She didn't need to know that.
It's monkey Alan. The name...
59
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,148
I don't know who monkey
Alan is, but I bet...
60
00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,589
- He's a little bloke.
- I don't need to know.
61
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,039
Go away, please.
62
00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:59,193
Go over there.
63
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,990
I'm rowan, and I'm going to lead us
through today's sessions.
64
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:10,473
Under me.
65
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,955
As David actually has briefed me and says
66
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,310
a lot of this you'll be familiar with,
67
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,556
but it's not a bad idea to recap anyway,
68
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,433
and I hope a few new
ideas will be thrown in.
69
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,996
We're going to start by watching
a video - a nice gentle start.
70
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,156
It's a bit cheesy and a bit '8os,
71
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:29,875
but I think a lot of the ideas
are still pretty valid. Ok?
72
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,834
A good idea is a good idea forever.
73
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:35,433
Yeah. Ok.
74
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,308
Philosophy.
75
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,432
(Eighties-style "dynamic" music)
76
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,954
Hi,
77
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:03,871
what's the sl'ngle most I'mportant thl'ng
to your busl'ness?
78
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,514
- Staff.
- That's rl'ght, the customer,
79
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,033
a different angle.
80
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,674
These are your profl'ts for thl's year,
81
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,833
and this what you're doing
to those profits
82
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,030
i'f you underestl'mate
the value of customer care,
83
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,598
that's not real money.
84
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,395
- Do you know why?
- He'd be mad to burn it.
85
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,717
No. It's illegal
to destroy or burn anything
86
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:34,229
containing the queen's image of the realm.
87
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,238
- Can we just watch the video?
- Yeah. That's true.
88
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:41,035
Statl'stl'cs show that I'f you're
treated well as a customer
89
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,912
you'll tell fl've people,
90
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,793
if you're treated badly, you'll tell nl'ne,
91
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,878
- so can you set fire to a stamp?
- No.
92
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,912
In fact, a postage stamp is legal tender.
93
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,751
A bus driver would have
to accept that as currency.
94
00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,753
- Yeah. That'd happen!
- If he doesn't, report him.
95
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,677
When I'm walking home.
96
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,473
Get a taxi if you've got enough stamps.
97
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,148
- Cash them at a post office.
- Shouldn't have to.
98
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,632
Shouldn't have to.
99
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,077
Here's a typl'Cal offl'ce,
100
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,440
yeah? Oh, yeah, awful, I'sn't I't?
101
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,200
Yeah? Really? I asked him
102
00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,117
excuse me, I'm I'n a hurry,
103
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,198
I'm on the phone,
God, aren't people rude?
104
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,995
I must tell you about George,
it started about a year ago
105
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,829
well done, that customer
won't be botherl'ng you agal'n,
106
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,519
ever,
107
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,949
let's see what should have happened,
108
00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,548
yeah, yeah, awful, I'sn't I't?
109
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,433
Yeah? Really? You know, I said to him
110
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,517
sorry, sl'r, I'll be rl'ght wl'th you,
111
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:46,479
sorry, Jean, I have to
go, I have a customer,
112
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,399
I'll call you back at a
more convenl'ent tl'me,
113
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,357
all she had to do was acknowledge
the customer's presence
114
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,916
and end her personal call
as qul'ckly as possl'ble,
115
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,997
this is what we call the
customer care tree
116
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,072
your prescrl'ptl'on wl'll be ready
on frl'day, madam,
117
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,236
fl'ne, see you Tuesday,
118
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,753
so I'f you've put together a crack team,
119
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:19,429
don't let your busl'ness get taken
hostage by complacency,
120
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,438
make your motto "who cares, wl'ns",
121
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,518
hey, I know you, can I have your autograph?
122
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:26,914
Of course,
123
00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,598
thank you, mr noakes,
124
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,316
very good. Very good.
125
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,271
Ok, then. Right. That's that.
126
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,674
John noakes.
127
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,519
Yeah. They worked together
on "blue Peter".
128
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,359
- Can I...?
- She was short-sighted... yeah.
129
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,756
Ok. Right. Well, you've all seen the video.
130
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,348
Now it's time for the dreaded role play.
131
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,233
We'll kick off with your
leader, David Brent.
132
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,477
David, if you could come here.
Round of applause for David.
133
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,158
No, no, no.
134
00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,877
Cheating. I have done this before.
135
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,719
Good. That should make
it a lot easier for us.
136
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,638
- Nice and simple to start with.
- Hard as you like.
137
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,955
Well, let's kick off with something easy.
138
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:12,392
I want us to play out a scenario
that highlights customer care.
139
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,476
- Ok.
- All of you deal with people...
140
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,275
- All the time.
- You can all improve people skills.
141
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,437
In this scenario...
We'll start with something easy.
142
00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,915
This will be the wrong way to do it!
143
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:27,635
I'm going to play a very bad
hotel manager who doesn't care...
144
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:32,709
If it's a basil fawlty character,
maybe I should do it for the comedy.
145
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,752
Let me just play it now
to kick things off, ok?
146
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,871
I'll probably bring that to this role.
147
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,036
Right. You've got a complaint.
148
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,914
Come and complain and I'll show you
the wrong way to handle it.
149
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,871
Ok. So off we go.
150
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,278
- Sorry. What's the complaint?
- Just make it up.
151
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:55,951
Anything. There's no right or wrong thing
in this scenario.
152
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:59,152
We'll tell you the right thing afterwards.
153
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:00,759
- You complain.
- Right.
154
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:04,111
- Ok. I'd like to make a complaint.
- I don't care.
155
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,832
- I am staying in the hotel...
- It's not my shift.
156
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,916
You're an ambassador for the hotel.
157
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,713
- I don't care.
- You will when I tell you.
158
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,796
There's been a rape up there!
159
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:27,759
I got his attention. Get
their attention. Ok?
160
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:32,196
- Right. Some interesting points...
- Very interesting points.
161
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:35,073
It's not quite the point
I was trying to make.
162
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,679
Different points to be made.
163
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,030
- I'm interested in customer care.
- So am I.
164
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,469
- And the way we'd deal with...
- I fazed you.
165
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,478
Maybe I should play the manager
as I'm used to it.
166
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:48,115
I fazed you. You have a go.
See if you can faze me. Ok?
167
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:49,719
Yeah. All right.
168
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,276
- Hello. I wish to make a complaint.
- Not interested.
169
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,595
- My room is a disgrace.
- Don't care.
170
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,473
- The bathroom's dirty...
- What room are you in?
171
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,797
- 362.
- There is no 362 in this hotel.
172
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,994
Sometimes the complaints will be false.
173
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,076
Ok? Good.
174
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:20,832
Today is really about all of you
getting to know and trust each other.
175
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:25,033
So what I want us to do
is just spend a few minutes...
176
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,479
(Knocking)
177
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,469
Sorry. Can I have a quick word with dawn?
178
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:30,999
Dawn?
179
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:37,671
What I want us to do is for
everyone to tell me their name
180
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,678
and their ultimate dream -
their ultimate fantasy.
181
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,791
I'll kick things off. My name's rowan,
182
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,957
and my dream is to have my own island.
183
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:47,954
David.
184
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,912
It depends what you mean
by ultimate fantasy
185
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,713
because time travel's
actually impossible...
186
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,479
Just interpret it any way you like.
187
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:01,275
Yeah. If you're talking
about anything that could
188
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,073
or could not be possible, actually.
189
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:08,671
Anything that could be conceived of
to happen or not,
190
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,838
within my realm, you know...
191
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,952
Then probably some sort
of everlasting life.
192
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,231
I don't just mean in a spiritual
or religious sense,
193
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,193
but actually to experience the future
194
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,278
and live, you know, on and on...
195
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,710
And on, and know what it's
like to live forever.
196
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,199
I think I'm starting to
know what that's like.
197
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:33,918
- I'm saying...
- No, hang on.
198
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,919
- You always have your say.
- When have I had my say?!
199
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,679
I've been engaged to Lee for um
200
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,916
God! ..About three years.
201
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,589
He proposed on a Valentine's day.
202
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,472
He didn't do it face to face.
203
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:52,434
He did it in one of the Valentine's
message bits in the paper.
204
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:53,879
Um...
205
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:58,073
I think he had to pay for it
by the word because it just said,
206
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,875
"Lee love dawn. Marriage?"
207
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:05,872
Which I like.
208
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:11,074
It's not often you get something
that's both romantic and thrifty.
209
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,397
And don't phone my mum again!
210
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,036
- Dawn, do you want...?
- Don't.
211
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:18,874
Ok.
212
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,797
Um...
213
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:25,471
Gareth, a quick trust exercise.
Ultimate fantasy?
214
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,797
- Hmm?
- We're doing the ultimate fantasy.
215
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,236
Two lesbians, probably. Sisters.
I'm just watching.
216
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,319
Ok. Um...
217
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,632
Tim? Do you have one?
218
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:46,070
I never thought I'd say this,
but can I hear more from gareth?
219
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,756
Ok. Well, this next
exercise is all about...
220
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,393
Motivation.
221
00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,478
That's going to be a key word today -
motivation.
222
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,238
So... Keith?
223
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:06,194
What would you say was your motivation
for working here?
224
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,515
- Being part of a team.
- Let him answer.
225
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:10,596
That's what he'll say if you ask him.
226
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,154
I am asking him and I'd like him to answer.
227
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,677
Do you want to answer him?
228
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,791
This job's just a stop-gap, really.
229
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,117
The job's not difficult.
I don't take my work home.
230
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,150
- It's brainless.
- At your level maybe.
231
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:28,717
But, ultimately, I want to play music,
write music, play in a band.
232
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,116
Good luck! Been there, done that,
bought the t shirt. Next!
233
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:35,073
- You were in a band? A rock band?
- Yeah.
234
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,158
- What were you called?
- Foregone conclusion.
235
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,589
I'm not sure this is the right time...
236
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,075
- I've got to field the questions.
- David.
237
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,430
- What did you do?
- Singer-songwriter.
238
00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:49,917
Lyrics man, mainly, but you know,
the music came easy as well, so...
239
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:53,555
Ok. Right. So, are there
any more questions for David?
240
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:56,069
- No? Good.
- You didn't give them a chance.
241
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,556
- Did you want to say something?
- Were you successful?
242
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:02,672
Were we successful? I'll let you judge that
243
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,394
when I tell you that we were once supported
244
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,512
by a little-known Scottish
outfit called Texas.
245
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:15,037
I get all this, "oh, David,
you're a brilliant singer-songwriter."
246
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:19,915
"You're stuck in slough while Texas
are off making all the money,"
247
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,076
"and they're rubbish compared to you."
248
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,952
I go, "don't slag them off."
249
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:28,549
I say, "I've been there,
I've done that. That's behind me."
250
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:30,113
And I respect...
251
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:34,199
The thing is, we're both good
in our own fields.
252
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:38,950
I'm sure Texas couldn't run and manage
a successful paper merchants.
253
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,150
I couldn't do what...
254
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:46,152
Actually, I could do what they do,
and I think they knew it back then.
255
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,396
Probably what spurred them on.
256
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,037
(Soft guitar strumming)
257
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,952
I wrote this. I only play songs
I've written myself.
258
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:05,798
He went home to get it.
259
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,957
to answer some things
260
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:15,277
from paupers to kings
261
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,438
I'll answer them true
262
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:21,711
you know what to do
263
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,957
264
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,555
265
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,437
you no longer mind
266
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:35,155
you're now colour-blind...
267
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:36,952
racial. So...
268
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:41,632
who guards the gates of hell...
269
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,479
good stuff.
270
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,438
hood of a Cadillac, yeah
271
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,438
272
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:57,634
273
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,798
rolled on by, bye bye
274
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,229
275
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:04,634
everybody.
276
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,876
277
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,595
on the hot love highway
278
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,632
279
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,591
- she's dead.
- She's not dead.
280
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,472
281
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:28,639
282
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,389
had about a thousand women
283
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,272
284
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,436
285
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,518
- what, you?
- No. He's looking at a photograph.
286
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,154
- Of you?
- No. Of his girlfriend.
287
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,791
- The video would show it.
- Sorry.
288
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,717
- Sounds a bit gay.
- It's not gay.
289
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,434
290
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,677
291
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,349
on the hot love highway...
292
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,152
(Gareth harmonises)
293
00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,236
294
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,477
295
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,478
296
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:10,036
on the hot love highway
297
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:14,950
she's gone, yeah
298
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,913
299
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,998
300
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,236
301
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:30,397
302
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,398
That's brilliant, David. Really good.
303
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,151
I'm trying to think of other ones.
304
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,157
- Right. That's lunch.
- Ok.
305
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:43,950
What, in the name of jumping
jehosaphat, was that song about?
306
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,949
I mean, what was that about?
307
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:51,232
What's he doing? What's Warren
doing telling people to say please?
308
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,113
If you don't know,
you don't deserve a job. After you.
309
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,514
Thank you.
310
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,074
- Are you all right?
- Yes, thank you.
311
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,474
Good.
312
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,678
Are you ok?
313
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,396
Forget all about him. He's not worth it.
314
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,795
I go through this sort
of thing all the time.
315
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,275
Although it's usually me who dumps them.
316
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,789
No one dumped anyone. It was an argument.
317
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,480
Come out with me. I'll
find you a new bloke.
318
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,318
It was just an argument.
319
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:23,718
Well, I'm just saying.
320
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,629
Thanks. That's nice.
321
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,273
You ok?
322
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,277
- Yeah.
- Sit down.
323
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,834
Now, I don't want to pry,
324
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:41,953
but I am aware of your personal problem,
325
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:47,552
and I wouldn't be the boss
or the man that I am
326
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:51,912
if I didn't lend some
words of encouragement.
327
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,758
(Guitar strums)
328
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,868
This is something I wrote. I hope it helps.
329
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,390
330
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:03,159
331
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,078
332
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,715
333
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,798
334
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,151
335
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,158
336
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,909
337
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:28,718
338
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,309
is that originally about princess Diana?
339
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,598
Originally. But it fits
perfectly, doesn't it?
340
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,271
Not the car crash bit.
341
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:41,954
Well...
342
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,152
Your relationship with Lee
is a bit like a car crash.
343
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:46,554
In Paris?
344
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,079
City of love.
345
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,154
You're right. It fits perfectly. Thank you.
346
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,035
347
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,433
348
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:12,795
being dumped is the perfect excuse
to do all the things you want to do.
349
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:17,152
I wasn't dumped. And, actually,
I have been thinking of leaving.
350
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,429
How long have you been thinking of leaving?
351
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,596
- Who's leaving?
- I am.
352
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,678
Well, that's stupid. You've
got a job here for life.
353
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,837
Yeah. I don't want to spend my life
answering phones
354
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,758
in some crappy sub-branch paper merchants.
355
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,111
Dawn, you could be answering
those phones in head office
356
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:36,798
or a better paper merchants.
357
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,876
Why waste her life in paper?
358
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,797
Not a waste, actually, not a waste.
359
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:45,118
Look at Jeff lamp. He's 42, he's
got a Porsche. That's from paper.
360
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,196
How long you been thinking of leaving?
361
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,557
And are you going to lay down
any of those tracks?
362
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,956
Well, I've got a lot on one demo
from the band days,
363
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,799
but they're about ten years old,
so if I put them out,
364
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,878
I'd have to lay down
some drum and bass shit on 'em.
365
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,274
Sample shit.
366
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,756
If you go back on the road,
are you going to need any help?
367
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,235
- Look, I'm sorry to...
- Hold on. What?
368
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,749
Are you going to need a manager?
369
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,871
Well, I'll probably manage myself.
370
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,275
I could be your assistant manager.
371
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:24,670
You could be assistant
to the manager. Hold on, man. Shoot.
372
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,678
We've got a lot to get
through and no one's back.
373
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,598
Get them over because
rowan wants to crack on.
374
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,950
- Do you want me to discipline them?
- No.
375
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:39,074
Imagine him in a band. Bald old git.
376
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,229
The glasses would be stupid, so...
377
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:44,316
What's the vibe in the second half?
378
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:45,714
'Cause...
379
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:53,276
Yeah. Not always for this company.
I've worked for... hi.
380
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,278
Various companies over the years.
381
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,710
How did you get into doing this?
How did you start?
382
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,196
Doing what I do? There are
lots of ways, really.
383
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,951
Are you thinking of doing it?
384
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:09,595
I wouldn't mind, actually.
It looks like quite good fun.
385
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,756
- Does it?
- Yeah. Quite interesting.
386
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:18,476
Right. This next exercise
is all about forward planning
387
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,079
and team work.
388
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,839
I'm going to put you into pairs for this.
389
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,191
So um... gareth, if you can go with Tim.
390
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:27,753
Oh, God!
391
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,631
I wouldn't want to be stuck with you
in a situation either.
392
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,512
A situation? What situation?
393
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:38,077
Who would you rather be with on a desert
island whittling wood and berries?
394
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,158
Daley Thompson.
395
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,549
Ok. Let me give you the problem.
396
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,954
A farmer - not pictured -
397
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,117
has a chicken, a bag of grain and a fox,
398
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,549
and he needs to get them across the river,
399
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,352
but - and here's the rub -
400
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,836
his boat is only big enough
to take one item at a time.
401
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,316
I want you to work out in what order
he takes them across.
402
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,670
- Remember...
- Five minutes, ok?
403
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:13,077
He can't take the fox first
because then the chicken will eat the seed.
404
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:22,753
He can't take the grain because that
leaves the fox and the chicken.
405
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,599
Fox and the chicken together? Bloodbath.
406
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:29,030
Yeah, I know. He can't
leave the chicken with the grain.
407
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:33,392
Er, hello? I'm a chicken. Thanks for
leaving me with my favourite food.
408
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,511
I'm saying you can't do that.
409
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,917
How big is this chicken?
The same size as a bag of grain?
410
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,630
- I don't know. Big chicken.
- How big?
411
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,637
Big. It's a super-chicken.
412
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,990
What's the farmer doing with a fox?
413
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:50,556
A fox is a farmer's worst enemy.
He should drown the fox.
414
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,989
Gareth, it's a puzzle. It's just a puzzle.
415
00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:54,917
Yeah. Well, it's stupid.
416
00:23:55,120 --> 00:23:56,838
What are we learning from it?
417
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,190
It's just a problem to be solved.
418
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,670
- Put the grain on a wall.
- There's no wall.
419
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,631
- There's always walls.
- Not here.
420
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,797
There's nothing? There's
just a farm and a river?
421
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,876
- Get his wife to help.
- He ain't got one.
422
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,150
- All farmers have wives.
- This one's gay.
423
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,669
Then he shouldn't be allowed near animals.
424
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,630
- You'd take the grain next.
- Then the grain.
425
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,636
He's got to take the chicken first,
426
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,593
so he can leave the fox with the grain.
427
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,030
- Shall I tell them?
- No, I'll do it.
428
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,630
- They're more receptive to me.
- It's straightforward. Right.
429
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,194
Here's the answer.
430
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:47,359
First he takes the chicken across,
leaving the fox with the grain.
431
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:51,075
Then he brings the fox across,
but he brings the chicken back.
432
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,953
Then he takes the grain across,
leaves it with the fox,
433
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,116
then he comes back for the chicken.
434
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,834
- I'm sure you all got the answer...
- Easy.
435
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:02,794
Yeah, but the important thing here
is that you were working as a team.
436
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,399
Sorry. Gareth?
437
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,191
Yeah. Some questions.
438
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,233
I hope that exercise
demonstrated that it's vital
439
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:18,636
- that every member of a team...
- Follows a leader.
440
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:22,309
Well, knows their place
within that structure.
441
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,113
- Some may be leaders...
- He knows best, or she.
442
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:29,438
- Whoever is in charge may be...
- In a team of women, for example.
443
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:34,031
It may be women or men.
Somebody may be scoring the goals...
444
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,674
- Can't stress that enough.
- Absolutely.
445
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,110
- You may not be the person who...
- Unconditional trust...
446
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,196
Is returned in leadership.
447
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:46,359
It's important that you know
your place and that you are supported...
448
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,950
- Maybe we should just move on...
- Move on.
449
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,150
To another exercise.
450
00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:54,157
What about this one?
451
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,556
What do we think might be the lesson here?
452
00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:58,954
Dogs?
453
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,713
Say what you see, gareth.
454
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,472
- Give a dog a bone.
- He's not Roy Walker, gareth.
455
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:06,874
What is it?
456
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,788
If we pull together in the same direction,
it's better for us all.
457
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,751
They could be fighting.
458
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:14,359
They're smiling.
459
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,552
In the picture, maybe, but in reality...
460
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:25,352
Look, the point here is that if the
team is focused on its objectives,
461
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,471
and those of the individual members,
462
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,239
it's easier for everyone
to achieve their goals.
463
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:34,717
Exactly. Like the fable. You know
the one when the dog's got a bone.
464
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,957
He goes down to the lake to drink
and sees his reflection.
465
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,834
He goes, "that dog's got a better bone.
I'll have his as well."
466
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:47,398
And when he opens his mouth,
he drops the real bone and loses both.
467
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,556
And what's that got to do with this?
468
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,116
It's what gareth was saying
about if we've got our bones,
469
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,312
don't go for other people's bones
because you'll lose yours.
470
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,078
What does that mean?
471
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,238
Oh, don't you know? I thought it was...
472
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,194
Bones.
473
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:09,154
- I'm bored of this. I am so bored.
- Yeah. So am I.
474
00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:11,351
I don't mean this. I mean everything.
475
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,471
The job. Sorry, rowan, no disrespect.
476
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,353
- This is a waste of time.
- I know how you feel.
477
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:17,913
Let's get on with this.
478
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,315
I can't take any more of this nonsense.
479
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:24,592
I can't take another boring call
about index board at 23o a ton.
480
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,995
- 26o.
- You're a twat, ok? Shut up.
481
00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:31,033
Shut up. I'll give you my...
We'll work out my notice.
482
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:32,718
I'm going. Goodbye.
483
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,438
He'll be fine.
484
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,709
A waste of time. It was
all a waste of time.
485
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:45,833
Oh, see? Pressure.
486
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,791
Not as easy as it looks.
487
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,434
Sometimes the experience outweighs the...
488
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,273
Sorry, David. Dawn.
489
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:57,279
Now you've split up with Lee,
would you like to come out for a drink?
490
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,029
I haven't split up with him.
491
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:09,918
I know. I meant as a friend.
I did mean as a friend.
492
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,429
Ok. See you later. Yeah.
493
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,672
Go and get the guitar.
494
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,834
I'll probably write a
song about this one day.
495
00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:36,078
(Guitar strums)
496
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,439
(David )
my love, whoa
497
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,838
498
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,520
499
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,428
so you could buy, yeah!
500
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,995
We used to have a political reggae
one called equality street.
501
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:06,954
Ok.